so happppy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
he won the comp!champion!XD

right now i m happy.yet i m scared to be too happy i scared the next moment something will happen.it seems as though i got over it but have i?or izzit i m jus fooling myself again?can i really accept that he will be closer to his female friends? i reallly dunnno.

i know he doesnt like to be suspected.i guess the girl is really frustrated with mi and paranoid of mi kicking up a big fuss over it.but she doesnt understand it.i m not like her.no one understands mi.it's like a pattern.once a guy starts lying he will keep lying.i seem to trust him now but i dunno in the future.i really know u all are just friends.i really know.

i oso dun know why i think so much! AS IF I can control! what the fuck! when i get emo,i start to twist the facts.the counsellor understands it.she said it's natural.why cant anyone understand THIS!everyone else seem to think that it's my fault for thinking so much.i miss having true friends who understand.i miss gang.with them,i can put my worries aside.i love them.but not close to them le.i shall stop living in the past.AND MOVE ON!!!!!!

i dunno how long i will take to regain the trust in him.it's difficult.it's really.no one will understand.who likes suspecting who likes this feeling.it's because the trust is broken.

right now i wanna shift my focus.i used to think he's my only priority like he's the most important person.i cant change that thinking immediately.i will try to prioritise other things.wanna be closer to my friends.yet i dun think i can.dun feel close to my friends.no one likes mi de.i m a fool to think that im important to anyone.ahahhahaha!